Blonde, cherubic children smile directly at the camera with uninhibited smiles that only accompany youth. A mother’s arms are clasped protectively around their shoulders their umbilical cord yet to be truly cut. Her smile is strained; merely a turned-up mouth, no twinkle in her eyes or joyful expression. Hers is tense and stifled. She is a great actress.
Their father’s smile is non-existent. Actually he is non-existent. She has taken to the photograph with scissors and removed any trace of him from the family album.
William S. Burroughs famously quoted “When you cut into the present, the future leaks out.” When she took the scissors to her families’ photographs did she know that her husband, their father would disappear from their lives?
Divorce was uncommon at that time, it was the early Seventies and couples took their vow “Till death do us part” literally. I was the only child with divorced parents at my primary school: a Catholic one.
As the years progressed and divorce became endemic more children joined me in my club, yet none of us actually wanted to be a member. My membership was automatic; my father met someone else, he left and I was their latest recruit.
Presently, a few couples in my circle (both close and others on the periphery) are flirting dangerously with divorce. To them I would like to propose a simple question: If they cut into their present are they sure that they are prepared for the future that may leak out?
May 4, 2015 at 9:23 pm
I believe the grass is not greener. My earliest memories are moments surrounding divorce. As always, well written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 4, 2015 at 9:24 pm
Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂
LikeLike
May 4, 2015 at 9:29 pm
(I don’t like leaving links on blogs. Wanted you to see this and hope you delete it after)
https://mtaggartwriter.wordpress.com/2015/04/22/why-your-daughter-holds-the-wrong-hand-odd-walking-thoughts/
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 4, 2015 at 9:33 pm
My goodness that was a great post, it really resonated with me, very powerful and a different approach. Loved it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 4, 2015 at 9:42 pm
Thank you. I respect and look forward to your writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 4, 2015 at 9:45 pm
Your question about my writing (or lack of) was a great prompt. I’m inspired and delighting in finding the words again. Slowly allowing the shackles to fall away!
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 4, 2015 at 9:27 pm
great post and amazing question at the end.
LikeLiked by 2 people
May 4, 2015 at 9:28 pm
Thanks for commenting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 4, 2015 at 9:51 pm
Great post, thank you for sharing. Children are the victims of a circumstance that they have no control over. Very sad and very common. Makes one wary of leaks…
LikeLike
May 4, 2015 at 9:54 pm
Always value your comments 😉 Sometimes inevitable but still very sad and far too common…
LikeLike
May 4, 2015 at 11:06 pm
If you have young children in a marriage divorce is quite simply the most selfish act you can do. Even if trust was violated (I was cheated on) not trying to work through the problem for the sake of your children is just wrong.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 4, 2015 at 11:14 pm
Thanks for sharing. I have never experienced it or want to, but I imagine divorce is the worst option, though I understand sometimes there is no choice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 5, 2015 at 1:08 am
I respect your courage on this topic. My late grams and pa got divorced in the seventies.My grams even remarried and still talked about gramps on her death bed. They both had problems. She most likely never would have left even though he got violent. I have never spoke up about what I feel this done to the future of our family, many family members would not agree with me because of my close relationship with my grams. They think she “Brained washed” me, even with those types of comments lets you know the wedge it created in the family. I even have cousins and distance aunts who make digs at my grams even with both of them being six feet under… I’m having a hard time swallowing just commenting. I cant reblog or post fear family may or may not see this. People are out of their minds if they don’t believe it causes heartache across the board and years into the future!
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 5, 2015 at 7:28 am
Thanks for sharing your story. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 6, 2015 at 6:18 pm
All I can say is that I feel divorce has become all too easy. But, I do understand where there are some circumstances, where it happens in the best interest of the family as a whole.
LikeLike
May 6, 2015 at 6:21 pm
Yes all too true. I just hope that both parties have exhausted every option where possible. Fortunately I haven’t had to walk in those shoes!
LikeLike
May 6, 2015 at 6:29 pm
Yes I hope the same. I feel you have to do everything you can to make it work, especially when there is children involved.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 6, 2015 at 10:25 pm
Van, you have captured succinctly through the human lens, the pain, anguish, consequences and harsh reality of family disintegration. I loved this post, thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 6, 2015 at 10:29 pm
Thanks for you generous feedback. It means a lot coming from you!
LikeLike
May 11, 2015 at 1:30 pm
My parents got divorced when I was 16, I’m now 22. While there was a lot of obstacles we all had to overcome. We made it through. If anything, I think a lot of obstacles would have been overcome if she had actually left when I was younger. But she left it as late as she could and I know she thought she was doing what was best.
Tegan xx – Permanent Procrastination
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 11, 2015 at 2:06 pm
I’m glad you made it through. Divorce can, of course, be the best option. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
LikeLike
May 11, 2015 at 8:14 pm
My grandparents divorced when my father was only 15. Grandpa was suffering PTSD after the war and had taken to the bottle. Nanna was his punching bag. My dad couldn’t bear it any more and told her to leave.
Eighteen months on the run, and eighteen houses later, Nanna and the three boys were safe. But they all suffered from this rip through their family.
My father always said, “Make it the last option. Children suffer the most through divorce.”
I agree (having seen it with a number of my friends and peers), however, there are certainly many circumstances where being together is even more damaging.
Thanks for the great post.
x
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 12, 2015 at 2:19 pm
First time reading your blog and thankx for sharing – i am always impressed by people who manage to share deep thoughts, moments and journeys in few words and you have completely done that. Such powerful writing and message and yet such a short post. Really inviting people to think more deeply – and a powerful image of the photo-cutting.
Well done
love brett fish
LikeLike
May 12, 2015 at 3:22 pm
I’m flattered! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 2, 2015 at 9:37 am
Wonderful post on a great blog. Both the image of the family being cut and your question at the end are very powerful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 2, 2015 at 10:01 am
Thanks for commenting 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person