2tmanYesterday a friend and I caught up for a well overdue lunch. She’s been divorced from her husband for a few years and it’s always fun listening to her recount some amusing tales of trial and tribulation on the dating scene. Licking fresh wounds, from yet another soured relationship, she confessed that she has been sharing her bed with a new companion.

‘Tell me more’ I whispered, as the other diners attempted to listen in.

‘Well, he goes to bed before me, and when I get in a bit later, it is so warm, then I ask if I can warm my feet on him, it’s heaven…’

Of course he doesn’t object to her frosty footsies. In fact he can’t object, he is actually a hot water bottle with a home-made knitted vest. She has found her perfect bedmate. She talks and he can’t answer back. He is probably the least damaging partner that she has ever entertained. In her bed.

Only a few days earlier, I had a little joke with another friend on Facebook, about an article she posted showing a New Zealand driver who had been caught by police inappropriately using the T2 lane. His “passenger” turned out to be a mannequin with a bandaged head and sunglasses on its face.

‘Perhaps he really is the perfect partner?’ I posted.

‘Especially with the gaffer-taped mouth!’ she replied.

Which leads me to think that what my recently single friend may really need, is a gaffer-taped mannequin, with a hot water bottle attached. And considering that she uses the motorway to get to and from work, she’d be there in record time.

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