I am standing in a borrowed sports uniform and tatty Dunlop Volleys on the white line of the harshly lit gymnasium. The two jocks of the grade were asked to captain and choose a team for dodgeball. For a fifteen-year-old girl who was known at the time to be athletically inept* – largely due to my absences during sport – this was a moment filled with fear and dread. For the un-athletic amongst us this would be a test of our strength of character.

The cocky-captains called a name in turn, beginning with their fellow sporty-spices until, like a long distance race, their pace slowed as they reached the last few names. I stood there on that line ashamed at my predicament and using all my mental power to summon a fire-alarm or similar. Of course this didn’t happen. I wasn’t picked last, but it was almost a photo-finish.

And so once again, as an adult woman who has run a business, raised two children and navigated a marriage for twenty years, I find myself once again standing on that white line.

Yesterday was my first day back at university for the year where I am studying writing. While most of my units are writing oriented one has thrown me for a six! Digital literacies is a core subject that fortunately involves blogging (new blog to be shamelessly promoted here shortly!) and building a website. Of course I have the first one in the bag and the second will be a group  assignment with three like-minded students. Now this is the time that I must add that I probably socialise with their parents. This unit crosses over with several degrees and the one that makes up the majority of the class is Computer science and gaming.

The last game I played online was solitaire. In 1994.

The group selection isn’t for another few weeks and therefore I am left considering the following options:

  1. I am happy to take suggestions for blog sites about gaming so I can attempt to talk the same language (or code).
  2. Book in for Botox.
  3. ** Forget the self-esteem and get picked last.

* This has been disproved since my recent completion of Couch to 5k. (an app – see I am tech savvy!)

** Likely outcome as I can’t understand gaming (always yelling at my son to get off the computer) and I pass out at the thought of a needle in my face.

With age comes wisdom and I can now acknowledge that we all bring different skills to a team or a group no matter what our expertise or experience. The forty-year-old me is excited about the challenges that lie ahead and wishes she could pull the fifteen-year-old me aside and let her know that in the future she will be a valued member of any team.