While dining out with friends recently, we discussed the topic of Hugh Grant cheating on his then girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley, with Divine Brown a Los Angeles prostitute. Some of my friends were quick to judge and share their opinions. When I voiced my shock that he could cheat on one of the most beautiful women in the world a male friend quickly interjected:
“When you have fillet steak each night sometimes all you want is a bit of sausage…”
The men all laughed heartily in agreement as the women expressed their bewilderment. The conversation soon became heated and eventually some of the men even confessed that they knew where he was coming from.
Later that night as I lay tucked up in bed beside my snoring husband, I was wearing his old t-shirt and my big knickers and my mind raced. After years of marriage, or perhaps even after months, things can get a bit predictable in the bedroom. Distractions abound. For many years we have been preoccupied with toddlers, tantrums, teenagers and tears. Together we have remained united and independent as we survived career changes, ageing parents, illness and each other’s personal growth.
When my husband and I first met, sex was adventurous and we couldn’t get enough of each other. The weekends were ours to socialise and make love and we took time to get to know each other’s wants and needs and also what we didn’t want.
Last week I was out with a friend who confided that while she loves her husband they rarely have sex. She confessed that she finds sex with him as an obligation and that she fantasises about being *shagged fast and furiously (*censored). What is stopping her from asking her husband to do this? He is a good-looking guy, who is still attractive enough to turn heads. Yet here she is telling me that their sex-life has gone from YAH to BLAH!
I wonder does she need to stop seeing herself with her husband as fillet steak and re-discover her inner-sausage?
I came to think that, rather than identifying as either fillet steak or sausage, perhaps we can be both?
I would liken fillet steak to a comfortable date night. The evening would consist of a full-bodied red wine and, of course, a top-cut. I imagine that with the kids tucked safely in bed we would finish the evening by making love. Now this is special but there are no surprises.
On the other hand, every now and then we do need to spice things up. Sausages don’t have to be cheap and nasty, they come in many different varieties, how about a gourmet banger? It’s always exciting trying a new flavour or perhaps it’s time to revisit a long-forgotten favourite.
The next morning I made a decision to spice things up. I confess that I have always thought of myself more like fillet steak and haven’t really had sausage in a while. So therefore I have challenged myself with the following:
- Get out of my gym gear by midday. It might be tight but its not hot – after gym it needs to go.
- Dig out the La Perla. I truly love my comfy undies. I didn’t think my husband even noticed them. While they may be scratchy and uncomfortable the little lace panties do look good (or so my husband tells me).
- Have sex at any time of the day – well we do work from home.
- Kiss him on the mouth. Fully.
- Ask him to help in the kitchen and do the dishes – the best foreplay.
- Accept his affection. After a busy day I have a tendency to brush him off.
- Turn off the TV; it can often be the third person in our marriage.
- Compliment him. He always tells me if he thinks I look great. Its time to give back.
- Tell him I love him more often. I use these words sparingly.
- Dance together. Now this makes us laugh, he is funny when he dances, and laughing leads to great sex.
Well, it’s getting late, my husband has done the dishes, the kids are in bed and I’ve ditched the gym gear and big knickers. My little lace panties are riding up my bum, but hey, the perfect combination of fillet steak and sausage take a little work; but who doesn’t love a prime-cut and a good bang(er).
Image and recipe sourced from Gourmet Traveller